Changing Direction

These past few weeks have been a veritable roller-coaster of emotions, thoughts, ideas and internal fighting. As taxing as the struggle can be, it is necessary for growth and definition.

Changing DirectionI love quiet moments to ponder, talk to Heavenly Father and simply be. I have found in these moments more inspiration and direction than anywhere else. These educational moments continually teach me about myself and the path that I am currently on.

Recently I read a book that rocked my world. Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker is the cause much of the roller-coaster I have been riding. I will be honest, most of what was the catalyst of the explosion of thoughts had nothing to do with becoming a millionaire, but more to do with the qualities and thought processes of people who are successful and live life to the fullest. I began to see how scarcity had become the ruling thought in my mind, which in turn became how I viewed the world.

As I have thought about where my mind had been living, I began to realize that life will never be lived to the fullest when scarcity rules our thoughts. God created a world of abundance. It is not difficult to see how much we have been given, however if we only focus on the path at our feet, we will miss all of it. When we are always looking down we miss the greatness of everything around us.

I made a decision that I do not want to live in scarcity any more.

To make a change like this, I needed to face what was holding me back, to understand it, to overcome. I am blessed to know a great guide (my husband) who is skilled at walking people through challenges such as this. In order to face scarcity I had to realize that I had become bound by fear, uncertainty, overwhelm, and darkness. Breaking through these bindings was challenging at best, but worth it as I now had the strength to let go of scarcity.

As Kevin talked me through all of this he pointed out that abundance is the weapon to fight off and hold back scarcity. It is the abundance of knowing I have never, ever been without what I need. I have always been able to do what is necessary to take care of my family and those I need to help. It is the abundance of knowing that Heavenly Father is in control and will lead me (sometimes pull me) to where He needs me to go. And right now He needs me to change direction.

There is a difference between change and changing direction. As we are presented with a new opportunity to move down a new path, one that will create newness of strength, courage and skill, we have the gift to choose whether or not we take that first step. Moving down new paths is our change of direction. The change within us comes as we take in this new path, noticing the differences in feelings, sights, thoughts and actions. Each step is a choice to continue. Each step is a demonstration of trust and courage.

As I have taken a few tentative steps down this new path, I have been able to see a few things for what they truly are…and it is liberating. Ideas that I have held onto that I have not been able to realize are now understood and filed where they need to be. For a long time I thought I wanted to have a business building/creating things… It was hard for me to grasp why this idea never had enough strength to pull me through the initial phases. Now I understand that I love to build/create for the pure love of it…not to sell, just to give. I can now leave that business path behind and move onto something else. I am not sure what that is yet, I am still seeking. Yet, I know I will be led….

Our Path

11942303_10207229527072560_4173153203233697029_oTwo years ago our little family started a hike in a popular canyon close to our home. Unfortunately we started this hike at 1:00 p.m. on July 24th in 95 degree weather. Hiking in July was not a foreign action for us, so we didn’t think anything of it…and started up the mountain.

This hike begins with a quarter of a mile (at least) of steep switchbacks that are pure sand. This provides little or no grip for the foot and a lot of energy is expended simply taking the next step. The sand is also very light, so it reflects the heat of the sun right up to your sweat drenched, oxygen starved little body. It was a lot tougher than we thought…

We made it about a mile into the hike before we began to feel the side-effects from the heat of the day and pure exhaustion. Our son got to a point that he just couldn’t go up any more. Not wanting to put him in any danger, we abandoned the hike, promising ourselves we would get there another day…

The other day took over two years to come…I had put this particular hike on my summer bucket list (which really only had one item). So, last week my husband and I thought we would take a little jaunt up the mountain. We started early in the morning, the sun was barely peeking over the mountain and the morning air was nice and cool, making the switchbacks quite tolerable. I had been told by a few people that the hike was a little bit challenging, but nothing major. What I wasn’t told by people was that the trail is not obvious and you can end up hiking to the waterfall any way you can.

rocky pathWe took some wrong turns, scaled a couple of rock walls, did more than one double back and sat on a rock for 10 minutes to catch our breath. The mountain had our respect.

As we were hiking over some of the particularly rocky and steep areas, I watched my husband go first. I noticed his footsteps were heading in the same direction as mine, however we were not necessarily on the same path. He is very tall, so his steps were a lot farther apart than mine. He is very powerful, so he could climb over bigger rocks in one step. We were not on the same path, because we are such different people. It was the same when I led….his feet were going the same direction, however were not stepping in the same places.

There is something about the mountains that opens my heart and spirit to moments of teaching….

I learned that our paths are our own. My path to my Heavenly Father is mine and I will take the steps that fit me to reach Him. My husband and children are going the same direction as I am, however their steps will fit them.

This lesson opened up for me as I counseled my son this evening. He has been struggling with something for a very long time, and because he is struggling, he is seeking for answers. As we were chatting, the mountain came back to my mind and I realized what I needed to teach him. This is a time for him to take these struggles and questions to Heavenly Father and ask how he should move forward. As much as he wanted me to give him the answers (and I wanted to give him the answers I thought) I knew deep in my heart that these answers are for him to find. I counseled him to pray, ponder and watch, because his path is his.

God is GoodHow blessed I am to be led by Heavenly Father. I love how He quietly teaches us lessons that we can use instantly or over time to learn and bless the lives of others. I am thankful for mountains to climb, and that I get to do that every day with my family. God is good.

My Path

provisionalTomorrow is the beginning of the end. It is the final sprint before the goal is reached.

For years we have worked, as a family, to reach a common goal. We have spent many hours on and off the mat learning, refining, doubting, overcoming, falling and rising.

And here we are….

For the next 4 weeks we will train with a greater intensity to earn that which has transformed us. It has been one incredible journey.

My heart is full of anticipation for this. As I look back at who we all have become, and the path that has brought us to where we are, I see that even though our finish line looks the same…our paths have been completely different.

That is the beauty of this journey….it is different for each one of us.

The path I have traveled has shown me strengths and weaknesses, both physically and spiritually. There have been moments that, through discouragement and failure, I have wanted to walk away. These are not moments I am proud of, yet they are moments that defined my heart. As the tears threatened to roll down my face many times, I was given a choice in my heart…walk away or get up.

I got up.

There have been so many moments that I truly surprised myself by what I could do. When I would finally let go, trust myself and allow the knowledge that I had worked so hard to obtain come out…I would do things that were beyond me. The victories may have seemed small to anyone else, yet in my heart they were incredible.

Knowing that I can do things that were at first beyond my abilities has given me a greater appreciation for who I truly am. Understanding that there is more strength and knowledge within me than I realize has brought a new peace and power in my heart. I have seen it change my world.

My path has not been one of solitude, yet the lessons I have learned are my own. I am forever grateful for those who have taught me, seen within me greater things than what I could see, and pushed me to become more. They have changed me through their ability to guide, encourage and not give up. Black-belt

The beauty of this path is that it doesn’t end when I reach my goal, it continues as long as I will keep my feet on it.


The Big Plan

The Big PlanSometimes the first sentence of a post is the most difficult. To me it is the door to the room of all that I have in my heart to share. Opening this door can be a little challenging, especially when I want the words to be just right.

As I work at opening the door tonight, I feel like it is a big room waiting on the other side. There is so much to share and I wonder if the reasons I am struggling with this door are that words cannot do what I have felt justice. Yet, turn the knob I will…

I have thought a lot about how limited my vision of life truly is. My spirit desires to see the big picture, to know the results and understand what I am learning at the time. Honestly there are times when I just want to see the end of the path I am on to know it is worth it to stay there. Yet, more often than not, I simply want to see how things truly are working from Heavenly Father’s point of view.

Our paths are unique to us. Our victories, agonies, ups, downs, twists and turns are all tailored to our growth. Adversity is something that is given to us to allow us to see what is truly important. We may not see or understand in the moment, however as we ask and turn our vision to Him, we see that those things that may have been taken or thrust upon us are the very things we did or did not need.

Our moments of agony and trial are opportunities for us to see how He truly works in our lives. I have learned in my moments of agony and dispair that the enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the only way my heart can make it. I have been given moments to let go of pride and receive offerings of help that are beautiful evidences of someone listening to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. I know that these offerings come from heaven, because of how specific they are…how incredibly detailed they are in conjunction to the prayers I have offered out loud and in my heart.

As much as I want to see more, I am truly grateful for the slivers of understanding that come when I turn my eyes to Them and I am allowed to see things as they truly are. The beauty of the Big Plan is that I am not going to see everything all at once. The beauty is I get to see it unfold a little at a time and see the miracles and gifts that will come from those that knew me before I came…who know me now….and know who I am meant to be.

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are kind. I love Them.

His Path

His PathTwo years ago our little family moved into a wonderful home, incredible neighborhood and beautiful area. It has been a little utopia for us on so many levels. It was a drastic change for us, as now our children were safe to play outside at will, be out after dark and feel a freedom they had not been familiar with. Here we have found peace and healing at many levels.

At the same time, this has been a place of sacred testing and growth. We have passed through some of the most exquisite trials, pulling at the depths of our souls. We have seen scarcity and great blessings all at the same time. We have been shown what it is like to live by faith day in and day out. We have seen the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father manifested through family, friends and strangers time and time again.

A few months ago the nomadic spirit inside of me woke up. I truthfully didn’t like it, because I love so many things about where we are. Yet, there it was….desiring change.

I am pretty sure that Heavenly Father knew that I would need a lot of time to adjust to a change of this nature, because I felt content where we are. I am pretty sure that He needed me to prepare myself at that time, so that I would be in a peaceful place to help my family go through the same process. I am pretty sure He understands my heart so deeply that He does these things for me.

The final decision was made only a few weeks ago, and once again it was done out of pure faith in how we feel. We have taken steps, most of which we have no idea why, only that we felt like it was what needed to be done at that time. There are many steps yet to be taken, however we feel like the end is hurtling towards us in the darkness.

It is times like this that I have to rely on the promises that have been made specifically to me and my family. I have to remember the quiet whisperings I have been given that assure me all is well and He is in control. I have to remember that when I feel all of the opposition in my heart we must be on the right path. I have to remember that He is gently teaching me along the way how to trust Him and be His friend. I have to stay strong, yet allow my heart to feel everything that will come its way.

I am pretty sure it would all feel a lot better if we knew our ‘where’, yet that is part of the path that has not been opened up to us yet. I have a new found respect for those in the scriptures who were driven from their homes to find a new place for them, for the pioneers who traveled thousands of miles in the wilderness not knowing where they would be until their prophet saw it with his eyes.

I hope I can be strong like they were.

Into The Darkness

file0001735790414This last week was something incredible to say the least. Sometimes we are blessed to have things ‘fall’ into our lives that will forever change the way we live, think and become.

We have been on quite the journey for the past 2 years. The path has not always been lit, even if a little bit. We have hit our heads on low hanging branches, ran into rock walls, stepped on sharp stones, tripped over debris on the path and bruised our knees every time we hit the ground. Continue reading “Into The Darkness”

Looking Up

file000854726598I feel blessed this morning as I sit outside in our backyard soaking in the morning sun. Each day is so beautiful and filled with potential. I have loved experiencing all of the newness. I love the songs from the different birds that are flying around. I love seeing the newness of life coming forth. There is so much to discover here.Continue reading “Looking Up”