Limiting God

Sometimes I truly hope I can express what is going on inside. As much as I want to be able to translate the feelings of my heart and the lessons I am learning into words, I find I am not as skilled as I would like to be. Refinement comes through action, so here we go.

Last week I had a gut check of faith. Acting on inspiration from Heaven, our family has sold our home and purchased a spec home in another town. It will take a few weeks for this home to be completed, so we are staying with my kind parents in the meantime. After all of the chaos of packing and moving, we settled into their home and the stillness settled in. I am learning that I do not do well sitting still.

My mind started to race and think about why we were moving and doubts began to creep in. The adversary is quite skilled because these thoughts didn’t feel like doubts, they felt like legitimate ideas. One idea would lead to another and to another until my mind was racing and I had forgotten all of the miracles that had led us to where we were buying our home. Fear set into my heart and I could not see my way forward.

After a sleepless night, I found myself on a car ride with my husband where I shared all that was going on in my heart and soul. He patiently listened to all of my concerns and never once told me that I was wrong. Instead he took me out to the house we are buying. To be honest, I did not want to be there. I had truly convinced myself that it was not where we were supposed to be, so it was the last place I wanted to be.

He found a bucket, put his jacket on it (he is a true gentleman) and sat me down. Through inspiration from God, he reminded me of everything that had happened to bring us there. We had offers on two other homes, but neither worked out. We were NOT going to look for a home in this particular town, but it was the only one we liked. New construction/spec homes were never anything we considered, yet it was the one that felt the best. After we put an offer on it, all of the paths began to open to get us there. It truly has been one miracle after another. He told me to rejoice and let God show me why we are supposed to be there. It will always be a special moment to me.

After a good amount of sleep, my heart was healed and I began to see things as they are.

I had allowed fear to take over and hold me back from an amazing adventure and opportunity for our family. Rather than using fear to drive me forward, I had let it hold me back. We have never been able to see the whole reason for why we have moved in the past, because the experiences have shaped us one at a time. I had forgotten this.

I realized that my fears and doubts limited the power of God in my life. They had became the barriers that restrained inspiration, joy and strength that would drive me forward.

Yet, the moment I turned to Him and Jesus Christ through prayer and talking to my husband, they were right there. There wasn’t a hesitation on their part. It was as if they were waiting for me to invite them to help me take down the walls I had built.

In moments of reflection, I see how much their power was limited because of me. Rather than submit, I chose to let fear to take over. In fear, I felt defeated, overwhelmed, tired, impatient, weak, defiant, stagnant.

As soon as I let Them in, I began to feel creative, hopeful, peaceful, receptive, powerful, centered.

Which led me to the question… Are there more places in life where I limit God?

Yes.

The power comes in recognizing them to overcome. It takes courage to face the walls we have built with our fears and doubts. It takes more strength than we have to tear them down on our own. The incredible moments come when we accept help and allow His power to manifest in our lives. It is always humbling to see how much He knows us and loves us.

Pushing Barriers

The climbFor as long as I can remember I have been deathly afraid of heights and falling. There is a special sensation that grips the back of my legs when I feel like I am up too high or too close to a ledge…and don’t even ask me to look up.

This can get a little ridiculous at times. When we first hiked up the road to spend time in my mountain, I looked back and this feeling gripped my legs, heart and lungs. I was standing on a solid road, not even close to a drop off. I didn’t let it stop me that day, however I had to push through it. I have never regretted that. My mountain hold so many treasures for me…the waterfall, paths that lead somewhere and nowhere at the same time, peace, inspiration, and rocks to climb. 

barriersI have often thought about this barrier in my life and how it can prevent me from discovering amazing places and experiences. I realized that if I had allowed it to control me that day, I would have never found the incredible emotions that spread through me as I spend time in a place I love.

How often do the barriers that I feel in my life prevent me from experiencing, living and feeling?

If I see a barrier for what it truly is, then I am more likely to conquer it. So what is a barrier? My answer to this came from a discussion I had with my incredible husband. We were talking about how often we limit ourselves and why we do this. How many influences in our lives, when allowed, will hold us back.

I have found that a barrier is anything that is placed upon our hearts, spirits and minds that prevent us from moving forward and becoming who we are meant to be. At the core of it all is the adversary who wants nothing more than to bind us completely. He does it all so quietly and little by little until we accept the hold he has on us as ‘safety’ or ‘reality’.

the viewToday I decided to break from my traditional workout and accept an invitation from my husband to climb to a huge rock that sits high in my mountain. We hiked straight up over a thousand feet, climbing over rocks, and creating a path for ourselves…the entire time I kept my eyes on the ground (mostly because I didn’t want to roll the ankles). When we reached our destination I looked back on where we had come from. In spite of that sensation gripping my legs, the view was BREATHTAKING! I had pushed through my barrier and found something far more beautiful! I also found that my fear is a perception…not reality.

We found a rock that was bigger than we imagined. We found the power that onlyconquering comes through conquering. We found inspiration. We found life!

Life is meant to be lived. It is only through living that we find ourselves…who we were before we came and who we are meant to become. Barriers are meant to be pushed, stretched and broken. Doing this gives us the strength to do it again and again.

Pushing BackOnce again, I found Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ on the other side of the barrier….showing me the magic of life.