A few nights ago the world creeped ever so quietly into my son’s heart. His heart was broken and he didn’t know what to do. As I sat quietly on the bed next to him I prayed to have the wisdom to help him. You see he felt less than everyone else around him. In his eyes he didn’t measure up to his heroes and he felt a little broken.
My heart broke inside my chest and we cried together.
I remember as a child feeling this way so often. Less than. I wanted so badly to be the cool girl, the pretty girl, the girl everyone wanted to be around, the one that everyone oohed and ahhed at on the soccer field, and so on. I wasn’t. It was painful to compare myself to those around me and find that I didn’t measure up in the least (in my eyes).
Experiencing this with my amazing son brought back so many moments that I wanted erased from my heart. I was completely baffled as to how or why he would think he could ever be less than. He is one amazing kid. I see it every day. Yet, we all travel through moments such as this to find the truth of who we are.
Heavenly Father is ever so kind. He answered my prayer that night with memories and words I never would have come up with on my own.
I remembered the exact moment when life changed a bit for me. I was looking in the mirror and noticed my eyes, I mean really noticed the color, shape and size. My parents and many others had often told me that I have beautiful eyes. Because I felt less than, I never allowed that compliment to enter into my heart, it just bounced of with a quiet, “thank you but I don’t really believe you”. That day I saw beauty in my eyes. It took hold and I allowed it to grow within my heart. All of the sudden my less than wasn’t so huge.
Over the course of my life there have been times when I needed to rely on the good that others saw in me. I looked at myself through their eyes, because what I saw was someone completely different. When I have taken the time to see what they see, I have found so much truth in. Sometimes I get wrapped up in the lies that hold me back. And that is all they are…lies.
I am so thankful for an amazing husband and incredible children who see me truthfully. They have brought the vision of myself into focus more often than not.
As I sat and told my son how gifted and wonderful he truly is, I noticed that same look on his face, “thank you but I don’t really believe you”. I told him that I know he didn’t believe me at that moment, and that is okay. All I wanted was for him to hear what I know to be the truth about him, so one day he could look in the mirror and see what we all see.
As I walked down the dark hall after he fell asleep, the thought came into my heart….”Thank you. I hope you know that it is how I see you too.”
I learned that night how incredible our Heavenly Father is. I learned that I need to look at myself and others through His eyes to see the truth of who we really are….especially on days when I feel less than everyone else. He sees me very differently and I am so thankful for that. I pray that as I recognize this, I can help my babies see too.
Reblogged from own-who-you-are.com.