I truly am hoping I am not the only one with this. I understand we are all on our own journey, however I know they all cross from time to time. I am pretty sure these crossings allow us to help each other and show each other the way. It is a gift when we are on a path that we feel lost on and someone comes and leads us onward.
So here I am. This little pervasive emptiness is something that has lived at some level in my heart for quite some time. It shows up quite frequently filling my heart with a void that I have yet to figure out how to excuse permanently from my life.
I have searched for some time for a driving purpose in my life that extends beyond my little family. Something that I am passionate about that allows me to create, grow and learn. I have often thought and prayed about returning to work, simply for this purpose. Each time I do, I feel that I should not be away from my amazing kids. On that note, I am grateful for answered prayers, because I know He will guide me as many times as I ask.
I don’t understand why I feel this way. I don’t understand what I am searching for, when it seems like many around me have so much purpose in their lives. I simply don’t know where it look or how to find it. Sometimes writing heals my heart and I find answers in the words that come out. I truly hope that one day I will be writing and the answer will come. I feel like I am on a roller coaster…one day I am up and can conquer the world and the next 5 days I am struggling to do the basics. I pray for a time when it will all balance out and I can find the place that brings me the purpose I seek.
I guess we are all on this journey to learn more about who we are and what we are meant to be. I would love to understand who He wants and needs me to be so that I can move forward with that purpose. I will just have faith that His answers will come when they are meant to. I just need to keep looking….